


much deeper than appearance suggests

by Opalsong, reena_jenkins



Series: Space Youtube [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, F/M, Humour, Podfic, Rivalry, The Anakin/Obi-Wan is just a hint at the end, Twitter Fic, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins
Summary: In a world where Palpatine died of a heart attack (heart PALpitations) before he became Emperor or started a war, Anakin was never found on Tattooine, and the Jedi successfully negotiated between Naboo and the Trade Federation; Padmé ends her Queenship peacefully and sets up on Space!Youtube as an Activist!Beauty Blogger.  Satine's parents never died so she uses her time to create make up tutorials and do outreach projects.  A News site decides they should be Rivals and they Roll With It (Supported by Jedi!Boytoy!Obi-Wan and Enthusiastic Boyfriend!Anakin.)





	much deeper than appearance suggests

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knight_tracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_tracer/gifts).



> This work was created as an AUDIO WORK.
> 
> Thank you to Paraka for hosting!!

cover art by Opalsong

### Streaming Audio

Click the mp3 link for streaming.

### Download

[MP3](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Star%20Wars/much%20deeper%20than%20appearance%20suggests.mp3) | 25:33 | 17.8 MB  
---|---|---  
[Podbook](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Audiobooks/Star%20Wars/much%20deeper%20than%20appearance%20suggests.m4b) | 25:33 | 24.5 MB  
  
### Music

 _Cantina Band_ from Star Wars: A New Hope OST

### Crosspost

cross posted at amplificathon, my journal, and AO3

Reena: much deeper than appearance suggests

Opal: Created by:

Reena: Reena_Jenkins

Opal: And Opalsong  Fandom: Star Wars, Rating: General Audiences, Relationships: Padme/Anakin, Satine/Obi-Wan, with a hint of Obi-wan/Anakin at the end, Also Tagged for: Alternate Universe - Close Canon and Youtuber!AU (kinda)

*Cantina Music*

Opal: I’m thinking: world where palpatine had a heart attack before Ep 1 happened

Reena: Did he have PALPitations

Opal: Anakin isn’t found by the jedi, Padme is a competent queen but doesn’t go on to really be a senator

LOOOOOOOL

Reena: Ooooh, this sounds exciring

Opal: Obi-wan probs goes into the farming thing

Asokha possibly fails out of being a padawan

And Space!youtube is BIG

RIVAL!BEAUTY BLOGGERS

WHAT IF ANAKIN AND PADME

OR BETTER YET. PADME AND SATINE

and it is all still in star wars context

Only the AU I described above (which we will need to expand on for this to be more Star Wars AU and less Youtuber AU). But somehow Anakin and Padme are still a thing

He is her younger boyfriend who can use the force (and has some bitter things to say about jedi age limits and lack of empathy to slaves)

And Obi-Wan is Satine’s on again off again fuck boy who IS actually a Jedi

And Padme decided to NOT go the senate route b/c the senator that replaced Palpatine after his heart attack is perfectly competent. But she still has Opinions about Activism and Politics. And also is FANTASTIC at make up. So her channel is all her doing make up tutorials while ranting about clone rights while her ex-slave-unjedi-boyfriend films/wanders around being faily

You’ll have to make up Satine because I don’t know much about her.

And also: HOW AND WHY are they RIVALS

and does this lead to a collab? And does the collab lead to a fourway? y/y/y?

Reena: I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE

But Satine does HAIR STUFF

also makeuo

Opal: Thoughts we need: - Everything SATINE - how Padme and Anakin met - why are Padma & Satine fighting/rivalling - what their collab is (something political protest style?) - MOAR BACKSTORY. Help me fill in this ‘verse. Palpatine has a heart attack and then ?????????????

Reena: i'll try and figure out what sabine's backstory/angle/rivalry is

*satine

Opal: Yusssssss

Reena: satine beauty dynasty family - like kardashians

Opal: OMG YES

Reena: so......lemme figure out where i;m going with that

Opal:  now I’m thinking that maybe Padme is self-taught talent

Reena: oooooh, she's been RUNNING HER VLOG SINCE SHE WAS 14

Opal: Like, she wasn’t even into make up until she became queen

And then huh

MAKE UP

Reena: yes, good

satine's critics say that she's trying to capitalize on her family's ~media presence~ and leverage more fame for herself

bur she also uses it as a platform for ~outreach of some kind, maybe?

Opal: But on the flip side of that: Satine could think she was just trying to keep in the public eye longer after her queenhood is up.

And capitalizing on her built in audiencep

Reena: yeah, exactly

Opal: Yessssssssssssss. Satine uses her blog for outreach. And Padme uses hers for radical public political shit. And THE MAN doesn’t like that so the media starts talking about this “feud”

Reena: YES THIS GOOD

Reena: it shows up on like E

Opal: And neither one really are even aware of the other?

Opal: Yessss

Reena: but neither of them have really interacted before

Reena: maybe one of the boyfriends is like, "use this to draw attention to your platform"

and they suggest playing it up?

(pribably anakin)

Opal: But it hits at the exact right time: Padme puts up a video where is barely even does make up and mostly just RANTS about some political issue that is NOT Satine’s style

Reena: And yeah, Satine actually does get mad a little at this faker

Opal: And Anakin is like “play into it padme”

And padme is all  okay fine

 

Reena: yepppp

also, does padme do a crossover episode with corde, who does hair

Opal: Only then Satine puts out something actually TARGETED at Padme and then IT IS ON

Reena: corde has a hair-braiding channel, and does soemthing MASSIVE on padme

Opal: who? (Which should mean yes. I just don’t know who that is)

Reena: corde is one of the handmaidens

headcanon/actual sw canon that the handmaidens do the queen's hair & makeup

Opal: YES. 100000000%

Reena: sounds like a plan. okay - satine's targeted video is probably about how padme's

.....ug. i dunno

i kinda want to say it's like "padme amidala's new line of lip fillers are tested on animals"

except that feels Bad and Wrong

i do'nt want them to fiiiiight

plus, satine is pretty aware of how public perception works, so she's careful not to make baseless accusations

hmmmm......maybe one of them does a tutorial vid that's pointedly in the other's ~style, and it's mocking?

(I don't know how beauty blogger fandom works)

i feel like anakin would probably leave a whole bunch of shit-starting comments on padme's latest vid under various sock accounts

for sympathy points

what's obi-wan doing through all this? maybe being on "keeping up the the Kryzes" as satine's kept boytoy)

Opal: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

definitely neither of them use baseless accusations. But Padme thinks Satine’s looks are hard to replicate and use products that most people can’t afford/have access to. And that her outreach is fine but maybe she shouldn’t talk about equality while still living in a Mansion? Satine thinks Padme’s looks are booooring. Unless she is going for formal/night looks in which case she flips from boring to clown in a heartbeat. Girl has no taste. And her drugstore looks make her look shitty and also they are probably made in unethical ways. And when she goes local-vegan-etc then she is even WORSE than Satine so HYPOCRITE. As for her ideology: it is too broad and lofty. Not enough thought about consequences and not enough action NOW.

They deffo do vids mocking each other’s styles

However, they both also acknowledge that the activism the other does IS good. It just COULD BE BETTER OMG DID YOU SEE HER LATEST LOOK IT WAS SO UGLY

And like, Padme has some legit concerns over Satine. Everything she says is true. But she is also playing it up a little

For the hits

Satine is also playing it up a little

ANAKIN DEFFO GOES IN THE COMMENTS AND TROLLS

LIKE THE LITTLE SHIT HE IS

And he is super nice to Padme in her videos

(People totally notice that Anakin is more into the feud than Padme)

So: the boys

Anakin is a staple of Padme’s channel. He shows up in almost every video (if only to like, bring her tea or comment off camera) and has had make up put on several times. He is actually a social media person himself: he was never picked up from Tattooine by the Jedi but he finally won a Podrace or something. Something something he and his mom are free and off Tattooine. He is trying to END SLAVERY (and that it probably how he met Padme). He actually maybe has an ACTUAL NEWS BLOG? That is all anti-slavery oriented??? And then he shows up and is a goof on Padme’s channel. Or alternately (or additionally in the future after Padme & Satine become friends) he is part of the Space!Try Guys group >_>

OBI-WAN ON THE OTHER HAND

IS AN ACTUAL JEDI

he went through his trials normally and got his knighthood

O: He only shows up occasionally on Satine’s channel but she always talks about her jedi!boy-toy

O: He is forever suffering

O: When he shows up Satine definitely subjects him to make up

O: The first couple of times he shows up, Satine has already been talking about her boytoy for months (at least). And ppl don’t make the connection. B/c jedi robes?? Jedi???? And generally think he is her bodyguard

O: The jedi council most ignores this because Obi-Wan never hesitates to leave or shows any actual sign pf attachment on the show

O: But really, the feud isn’t EVERY VIDEO. It involves a couple of intense videos right at the start and then a catty comment here or there every couple of weeks after than.

O: WHAT CROSSOVER CAM THEY NOT REFUSE THAT GETS THEM IN THE SAME ROOM AND ACTUALLY TALKING?

O: (Because post-make up (AHAHAHAHAHA YUS PUNS) they BOTH deffo go off about the jedi. B/c Satine’s boytoy can’t even express his emotions properly and Padme finds out that someone on the jedi council KNEW ANAKIN WAS THERE BUT DIDN’T FREE HIM B/C HE WAS TOO OLD & ATTACHED TO HIS MOM WTF!?)

Reena: okay, thoughts: the crossover episode is almost acciental

padme is at a women's march, and satine is at the same march

and they run into each oter

and they make anakin (who's there with padme) hold one of their comm cameras

and they do an episode that's not quite like anything either of them puts out

padme & satine start by 'interviewing' each other - who are you (giving vlog name info), what's your poster say, what issue are you most upset about that's represented under the umbrella of 'the women's march'?

Oh! back up 2 steps - maybe it was bo-katan (satin'e sister) who saw padme & anakin there

Opal: ooooooooooooo I LIKE THIS

Reena: and she's the one who's like, "go talk to her!" and satine's like, "She's here as a private citizen, not as my nemesis"

"I can't"

and then bo goes up to padme & anakin and introduces them anyway

SO

since they

are BOTH THERE ANYWAY

well....... they may as well film SOMETHING

Opal: yussssssss like podficcers

Reena: they don't have to post it. but it's too good an opportunity to waste

(yes, exactly!)

so they they're both scrambling through their bags, and of course

*so they start off by interviewing each other for background

and then they're going through their bags, talking about the Essential Protest Survival Kit

Ooooooh i just had a THOUGHT

Opal: OH??

Reena: so, part of it is like, "here's the stuff you should always have with you - sunscreen, chapstick, extra battery pack, ration bars"

and part of it is like, "in this day of diigital surveilance, where holo reporters can take your photo and post it with their reports without your consent (possibly a holdover from an ancient Personal Security Act thst Palpatime passed through before he kicked it (as part of he long term planning for galactic domination and oppressive spying on his enemies) and hasn't been revoked yet) sometimes you want to be incognito"

Opal: yessssssssssssss I know where this is going and yesssssssssssss

Reena: "maybe you're at a queer rights event, but not ready to be out of the closet on the galactic scale. maybe you're a private citizen who doesn't want their likeness used without consent"

HAVE WE GOT A TUTORIAL FOR YOU

and it's part Naboo Queen Facepaint, part using contoring to distort your own features enough that facial recognition software can't pick you up

and a little bit juggalo (cause their makeup also works as anti-facial recognition coverage)

and maybe the girls grab a couple people in the crowd to watch/comment/be part of the demo/add more voices to the conversation

Opal: THIS IS SO GOOD

I love the idea of them meeting by accident! and that they do a TUTORIAL TOGETHER.

I think they get hilariously snarky with each other, poking fun at each other's style (eg. "well, clown make up isn't that much pf a stretch for you is it Padme" "At least mine doesn't come out caked on") but when they are together it becomes clear that both of them are just hilarious, snarky people and are having fun bantering, no actual offense intended

Is Satine still a duchess in this?

Reena: I think in this 'verse, satine's parents arent dead - so her mom & dad are still duke & duchess, and she's the duchy equivalent of a princess

So she's still got clout, but she's not the sole face of a planet

Also this ties in with padme's "no longer a planetary ruler, technicaly a private citizen" thing

Also we need obi-wan & anakin to meet

Opal: That pans out! And she’s using her free time to do make up tutorials and actuvism

Reena: Which, again - goes back to public perception of satine ~cashing in on her family's fame for ~popularity

But it's not! She's very passionate about a lot of things, is all

Thought: the women's march is in Coruscant

And goes past the temple

And that's how obi-wan shows up

Opal: Oooo yes. I was also thinking about it being on corusant! A central place that they’d both be interested in protesting at

Yeasssssssss. Satine pulls him into the parade and he’s like “????? IS THIS ALLOWED?! BY JEDI”

Reena: So they use it as psrt of the tutorial

Not supposed to be there, but you ARE

here's how to provide support but not get caught on camera

Opal: Yessssssssss

AND THIS IS WHEN OBI WAN AND ANAKIN MEET AND OBIWAN’S LIFE IS FURTHER RUINED

(Can they meet Ahsoka at the march too???? She is a bb!youtuber???)

Reena: Yesssssssssssss

Ahsoka is a random march person who's like, "contouring like so is all well and good if you're human, but what about the other 50%of the galaxy?"

"Do you have non-humanocentric tutorials or makeup recs?"

(Ahsoka is also a bb jedi, who obi-wan despairs of)

Opal: OOOOO THE SHADE

Ahsoka!!! bb!Jedi!Youtuber!!! She is the bane of the entire temple!!!! She keeps filming in random places and trying to get other younlings involved

Reena: Yesssssssss this

She's not causing enough trouble that the council's like, "NEW HOLONET-NANNY PROTOCOLS FOR ALL TERMINALS" But at the same time.. She's not exactly living up to the Vaunted Jedi Image

Her vlog is a whole lot of force-assisted parkour stunts

So, to sum up: -bb Padme was queen. Met obi-wan and qui-gon when they successfully thwarted the Occupation of Naboo -bb Padme became a private citizen after her royal tenure -bb Padme started a vlog as a platform for social change & also makeup -bb Satine met Obi-Wan & Qui-gon when they successfully prevented the assassination of Duke & Dichess Kryze -bb Satine grew up to have a beauty vlog, which some commentators have suggested is an attempt to capitalize on her family's dyanstic position -bb Anakin was never brought to the temple by Qui-gin, since they never fled Naboo with a bustef hyperdrive in the first place -bb Anakin still ran the boonta eve classic & won -shmi bet on her son & used her winning combined with anakin's prize purse to buy hers & anakin's freedom -bb anakin developed the chip scanner in secret & has been assisting with back-room chip-removal surgery for years -bb anakin & bb padme meet at a sentient rights rally, when padme is a private citizen. -palpatine kicks it when padme's 22/anakin's 18/Satine is ~27 (ish.....not totally sure of her age but she's obi-wan's contemporary) -bb Ahsoka is still picked up by plo koon & has her regular life, except no clone wars -bb Bo-Katan, because her parents arent dead, does not join the death watch. She's still on the far side of the political spectrum from satine though

-padme & Satine run beauty vlogs, but are only peripherally aware of each other at first - a holonews/gossip rag makes up the feud between padme & satine, after they are both invited to a charity or award event as guests (but don't interact on the red carpet. Because they don't KNOW EACH OTHER)

-anakin is like, "this will draw more traffic to your channel! More hits means more people paying attention!" Also he is a drama-llama who thrives on this kinda thing -padme is like .....meh, okay

-Satine fires back after the first ~targeted vid. -corde gets involved - she runs a hair vlog, and does something for padme that looks remarkably pointedly like something satine wore recently. But the topic of the vid is "how to wear this BETTER"

-padme & anakin go to another rally, run into Satine& bo, they end up filming a rally-centric vid -they swing by the temple to pick up obi-wan (who has been set to corral Ahsoka) -the vid goes live and puts rumors of the feud to rest -obi-wan eventually finds out anakin was running the sock accounts leaving shit-stirring comments on satine's vids

-obi-wan also finds out anakin is force-sensative -obi-wan is like, "can I at least teach you some shielding techniques?" -they medidate together while satine & padme are planning a second collab (this one focussing on non-human vs human makeup tools) -ACCIDENTAL FORCE-BOND BETWEEN ANAKIN & OBI-WAN

UH OHHJJ

[The end]

Opal: Epilogue: after talking to Ahsoka, Padme and Satine figure out just how shit the Jedi Order is. Satine has suspected for years, and Padme has been a little suspicious due to Anakin getting rejected by the Jedi Temple when he and his mom first got to Corusant. And they GO AFTER IT using all their social media resources. Obi-wan is horrified. But he is too busy dealing with his new force-bond with Anakin to even try to reign them in.

Reena: YES GOOD

Padme & Satine have the combined power of several billion viewers to aim at the High Council for reform

Opal: YUP

PLUS their combined political contacts

Reena: Which tend to be overlooked by most of their viewers. Like, Suzy Q from Mon Cala only knows Satine as "the vlogger who gave me good advice about tinted waterproof moisturizer" not "heir-apparent to the Mandalorian Empire"

Opal: Yessssssss

Reena: But, yes! Mace Windu will never know what hit him

*mwahahahhahaahhahahahaa*

Opal: Yessssssssssss

THE END END

Reena: THE FINAL END

*Cantina Music*

Opal: Reader’s Notes:

Reena: The title comes from this post:

The role of a Naboo Royal Handmaiden is, by design, much deeper than appearance suggests. At the most basic level, they assist with everyday tasks, including choosing gowns and styling hair. But they’re also advisers, confidantes and bodyguards, trained in deception, defense, and strength in service to their queen. In The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, we meet Padmé Amidala’s retinue, particularly Sabé, Cordé, and Dormé. …The concept of handmaidens as decoys goes all the way back to George Lucas’s rough draft of Star Wars. Princess Leia Organa had two handmaidens, and in order to keep her out of the Empire’s hands, the handmaiden who most resembled her took her place. The idea found new life decades later with the Naboo Royal Handmaidens. ❞ —— Amy Ratcliffe, Women of the Galaxy - “Padmé’s Handmaide

(from this post - [ http://handmaidensofnaboo.tumblr.com/post/180316516109/the-role-of-a-naboo-royal-handmaiden-is-by …](https://t.co/maEvDbtTcc)

Opal: Also I am thinking of using the Cantina music as the music. Because I think that would be the kind of royalty free music that would show up a lot on space!youtube If you enjoyed this podfic, please leave feedback for us. You can find this podfic at archiveofourown/users/opalsong or /reena_jenkins. Thanks for listening!


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